


i'll be your home

by deadrosexx



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, One Shot, Shy Park Jisung (NCT), jaemin is whipped, jealous jisung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 17:28:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16560119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadrosexx/pseuds/deadrosexx
Summary: jisung realises he likes jaemin more than a friend and everything changes





	i'll be your home

**Author's Note:**

> jaesung is underrated!! please show them more attention & love~

Jisung is sitting on the floor in the practice room, pretending to be checking his phone when all he really did was glance at Jaemin every few seconds. He hoped he wasn’t too obvious but then again who was he kidding? He was staring at his screen when he looked away, but his fingers weren’t even moving.

He was glad his friends were too busy talking over random things, arguing here and there. They were really the loudest group of all the units.

Jaemin didn’t stop laughing about something Jeno talks and it irritates him. It does something to his heart, a feeling he never felt before. As if it's twisting his gut, making him feel sick.

Suddenly he stands up, making his friend next to him flinch in shock. Chenle almost choked on his water at the sudden movement.

”Jisung? Everything’s okay?“ He questions and follows his eyesight. When he sees nothing unusual, just Jaemin and Jeno talking to each other like always, he looks back at his friend who seems like having a mental breakdown.

Jisung ignores him, taking light steps towards them but chickening out at the same time. He kept inching closer and then farther away from Jaemin, like he was deciding whether or not to actually approach him.

He doesn’t even notice Chenle poking his long legs, raising his eyebrows up in confusion.

”Why do you look so stressed out? Hey, talk to me!“ He whines, desperate to have the attention of his best friend back.

Jisung sits back down, drawing his legs up so that his knees just barely misses his chin and sighs.

”Chenle... Is it normal to be jealous of your friend?“ He asks after a while in hope to get some answers to the questions lingering on his head.

Chenle passes him the water, telling him to drink and looks up at the ceiling, thinking of a good answer.

”Jisung, you’re the best in dancing and your voice is also very good. You can rap and sing, so what’s the problem? You don’t have to be jealous of anyone, everyone has their own strength. Also, you’re so talented even though you’re so young. Don’t be hard on yourself. You work very hard and well.“

Chenle is smiling at him then, clearly proud of himself. Jisung smiles back after gulping the water down, not mentioning the fact that Chenle completely misunderstood him.

Instead, he just nods after thanking his friend for the nice words and stands up to continue the practice.

They are halfway through the choreography of their new song - We Go Up - when _the_ incident happens.

It’s his part followed by Jaemin, where he kinda has to bump into him. It creates a smooth transition while dancing and until now Jisung smiled widely doing this part because it was his favorite.

Until today. Today, he messed up. So much that the whole group worriedly turned to him, not expecting the usually concentrated maknae to make a mistake.

He didn’t know what came into him as he blindly took steps backwards but panicked thinking about touching Jaemin when it was never a problem before. So he just stopped in the middle of dancing, looking at his own feet in shame now.

Jisung was very confused but mostly angry with himself. He didn’t understand what was happening to him today. He just wanted to end this miserable feeling.

Mark stopped the music and it was much more awkward when silence overtook them.

”Jisungie,“ a soft voice interrupted him from his thoughts eating him alive and he turned up to look at Jaemin’s slightly widened eyes.

He looked so worried, biting on his lower lip and taking in every detail on his face, as if he wanted to memorise it. Jaemin was so kind to everyone, it wasn’t fair.

He was beautiful, he was the nicest hyung Jisung got to know, the one he went to when he had a problem or when he missed his parents. Jaemin was always there for him, in good and bad times, so that’s why the older occupied most of his thoughts without even trying to, even when he was dreaming it was all about him.

His brown eyes that looked like he was staring into his soul, patiently waiting for him to say something.

That’s when Jisung realised. He didn’t see his bandmate, his hyung only as a friend but more. He wanted to hold his hand and kiss him, to say that he is beautiful.

He wanted to be the reason of his happy laughter, he wanted to have all his attention only on him. That’s why he felt like this before, he was jealous.

It was ridiculous. Jeno didn’t deserve such an egoistic friend but most of all Jaemin didn’t deserve the rejection he got as he reached out to hold Jisung when his eyes shined with unshed tears. Jaemin almost looked like he was about to cry, too.

”I – I’m so sorry.“ Jisung hurried to whisper, running away from the practice room, almost falling down in his hurry to quickly escape the situation.

Mark, Renjun and Donghyuck ran after him while Jeno and Chenle stayed back to comfort the puzzled Jaemin.

Chenle wanted to follow his best friend, too but he knew that he had to report the things he knew.

He put a hand on a sniffling Jaemin’s shoulder and shared a look with Jeno, both worried about what just happened.

”Don’t cry, Jaemin,“ Jeno said, stroking his pink hair affectionately. Jaemin didn’t stop though, it only got worse as time passed by.

”Hyung, I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with you.“ Chenle dared to say after waiting for Jaemin to calm down a bit.

Jaemin rubbed his eyes while shaking his head, ”He looked so scared of me. I must have done something bad. It was like he... he hated me. I never saw him like this before.“

”Oh, please. Stop it, hyung.“ Chenle rolled his eyes.

”You are so fond of him, how could he hate you? It’s the opposite, you’re his favorite hyung.“ He continued as Jeno agreed with him.

”He talked to me about jealousy before we danced.“ At this, Jaemin looked up again with glassy eyes.

”J-Jealousy?“ He asked with confusion in his tone and Chenle nodded, sighing.

”I think he has problems like he doesn’t think he is good or something. Maybe you are the one he was jealous of, so he messed up the dance.“

Jaemin gasped at that like he was offended, his brows furrowed.

”But our Jisungie is the most talented. How could he think that?“

”Yeah, this is not good. I think you should go and talk to him, Jaemin-ah.“

Jaemin still felt pretty shocked and hurt after Jisung avoided him like that, especially since he had a crush on the younger since forever. He never told anyone of course, he didn’t want to scare him away and mostly he thought about the groups’ dynamic, how it would affect them.

So he always kept it as a secret bottled up deep down inside him for no one to know.

But he knew he needed to be the mature hyung now, to talk it out with him and make things better. At least he knew that the younger didn’t hate him.

”Yes,“ he whispered after taking a deep, shaky breath. ”I will talk to him.“

 

* * *

 

It was late already when Jaemin returned to the dorm, quietly taking off his shoes and tiptoeing to his shared room with Jisung.

He was so anxious, his heart was beating out of his chest and this was the reason why he stayed outside for so long anyway.

He shouldn’t be doing this, he should talk it out with the younger instantly but Jaemin also needed time to think about it all, what to say and how to confront him.

So when he opened the door, he didn’t knew what to expect but it was everything than this.

Jisung was curled up in bed, in Jaemin’s bed to be specific, hugging his pillow to his chest. His head snapped up when he heard the door opening, his eyes wide and red rimmed and Jaemin immediately felt guilt gnawing up inside of him, his chest aching at the sight and making it hard for him to breathe.

He swallows down the lump in his throat and closes the door, never leaving his eyes of Jisung.

Jisung just stares at him and wipes at his eyes, standing up. He runs to Jaemin and hugs him without thinking twice about it.

Jaemin returns the hug, rubbing his back and sighing in content. It’s been only a few hours but he already missed being close to the younger. It also seemed like Jisung is as eager as him to sort it out so he didn’t feel anxious anymore.

The normally not so affectionate maknae pulled him even closer, their chests now touching so they can feel their heart beats against each other. It feels so right... so nice to both of them. As if they were made for each other.

Jisung’s lips are brushing against Jaemin’s neck slightly and it makes the older shiver, hoping Jisung doesn’t notice it.

Jisung pulls back after a while but his hands never leave Jaemin’s waist, holding on tight as if he will walk away if he lets go.

”I was so worried hyung, where were you?“ Jisung breaks the silence, already accustomated to the dark and looking straight into Jaemin’s eyes.

Jaemin bites at his lips, looking down in shame, ”I was just outside, thinking. I’m sorry, Jisungie. I should have come talk to you immediately. I... should have followed you, actually. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I hate this.“

At that, Jisung vehemently shakes his head, ”I totally understand. It must have been a shock for you. I’m the one who is sorry.“

Jisung finally lets go of his waist, taking a deep breath. He’s not ready to talk but he is also sure that he never wants to put the hurtful expression on his hyung again.

”I have a crush on someone, Jaemin hyung. That’s why I couldn’t concentrate today.“ He starts, already breathless.

Jaemin doesn’t know how to react but one thing is sure - his world, along with his heart stops for a second and he freezes.

”To be honest it is a small crush,“ he lies, only not to worry Jaemin, ”and I’m pretty sure it will be over soon. So... please don’t ask who it is. I’m already embarassed.“

Jaemin nods dumbly, he thought Jisung was too busy to think about romance or to fall for someone. He clearly thought wrong.

It hurts, knowing that it’s all one sided.

”Ch-Chenle told me you were jealous... of someone. I thought that was the reason.“ Jaemin stutters, his deep voice sounding hoarse.

Jisung sighs while running his hand through his hair, ”He misunderstood me. Actually, hyung?“

”Yeah?“ Jaemin replies, still hopeful that this was all a joke. He wouldn’t even find it funny but still laugh because he would feel glad.

Jaemin thinks he is so selfish when he should feel happy for Jisung. He wants to scream at himself.

”You’re the only one I told. Please don’t let anyone know.“

Jaemin feels his heart breaking again but he still nods, reassuring the younger that it’s a secret between them. He doesn’t know if he should feel happy that Jisung only trusted him about his vulnerable feelings or sad that it’s exactly him who likes Jisung when it could have been any other member.

Jisung holds his hand, intertwining their fingers.

”I’m really sorry, hyung. You forgive me, right?“ He asks with his shy attitude and it makes Jaemin smile, even though he just wants to cry at the moment.

”Of course. You know I can never stay mad at you.“

Jisung smiles widely at that and leads them to Jaemin’s bed, looking sheepish. ”Can we sleep together tonight?“

And how could Jaemin say no to him? They sleep facing each other, limbs tangled and fingers still intertwined. The younger falls asleep almost the minute he closes his eyes, too tired of everything that happened today.

Jaemin takes his time appreciating the youngers flawless features, stroking his orange hair with his other, free hand.

Suddenly his vision is blurry and he knows very well that he is about to cry but he blinks them away, his gulping feeling more painful than anything.

He has to be mature, support Jisung at every cost and be there for him. He has to move on and forget about his feelings as soon as possible. It’s for the best.

Jaemin doesn’t think the entire night about who the lucky person is. _Not at all_.  
Jisung doesn’t know that he put the hurtful expression on his hyung, _again_.

 

* * *

 

 

Jisung never thought he would feel regret about not telling Jaemin that he had a crush on him directly, but that’s exactly what happens when he notices Jaemin and Jeno getting even more closer than before.

Jaemin shoots Jeno these looks, the looks he actually gives every member, even NCTzens. The look when he stares so intently, to the persons eyes and lips, one should feel intrigued.

To Jisung’s wonder none of the member do except himself. Or that’s what he would like to think.

It looks like they are flirting but then again Jaemin talks to everyone like that, he likes giving and receiving attention but mostly he likes skinship since he is very affectionate.

That’s why Jisung feels like he’s losing it when Jaemin feels up his arm, gasping at his muscles and looking at him in awe.

”I see you work out quite well lately.“ He praises him and Jisung whines, he feels pathetic.

He knew Jaemin was like this all the time but now that he was sure about his feelings for the older, he felt like suffocating. He didn’t like this, at all.

So when he interrupted them, his arms folded against his chest and a pout on his lips, Jaemin looked at him in surprise.

Jaemin’s face falls a little when he remembers the confession but he quickly covers it up by ruffling Jisung’s hair.

He doesn’t expect the younger to hold his wrist and stop him, staring at him through his lashes.

”I’m strong, too,“ he huffs while stealing a glance towards Jeno who is holding his hands up in defence, eyes disappearing because of his smile.

Jeno is so handsome, nice and caring. Jisung wouldn’t be surprised if Jaemin catches feelings for him someday. The thought brings a sour feeling to him, he really doesn’t want that.

It terrifies him to think Jaemin in love with someone else but him.

”You’re a baby.“ Jaemin responds, amused when Jisung blushes, his cheeks turning pink.

”I’m not!“

”Yes, you are.“ Jaemin insists, this time pinching his cheeks and cooing at how cute he looks.

Jisung stomps his feet in frustration and he doesn’t know what comes to him when he decides to hold Jaemin’s waist with one hand and his legs with the other – but he does and it’s too late.

He carries him bridal style now and Jaemin squeaks in surprise, his arms coming around Jisung’s neck automatically. The attention of everyone turns to them in an instant.

They all laugh and scream like the loud group they are though and the anxiety they both felt dissipates.

”S-See? Told you I’m strong,“ Jisung says, looking proud at himself. Jaemin only nods, fondly gazing at the younger.

Their soft eye contact only breaks when Jaemin nuzzles his cheek to the youngers neck, inhaling his sweet scent.

Everyone else are making disgusted noises and they start to laugh. Jisung feels so giddy.

Jisung prays that the event before in the practice room is the last time he embarrasses himself because of his jealousy, but unfortunately – it isn’t.

Later that day, they finished eating dinner and decided to watch a movie afterwards.

Everything was very good, Jaemin even fed him in dinner and wiped some sauce off the corner of his mouth and Jisung felt like he was starring in a romantic drama when they stayed like that and time stood still for a while, until the bubble bursted and they returned to the real world.

But now while watching the movie, Jaemin sits on Jeno’s lap for whatever reason and they whisper to each other a few times, probably talking about the movie.

Jisung wants to point out that there is this thing called personal space, wants Jaemin to sit on his lap instead, wants his warm breath against his ear instead.

He wants, he wants and he wants. He _wants_ Jaemin.

He also wants to shake the thoughts off as soon as they come, but the ugly feeling won’t go away. He can’t take it anymore.

”I’m sorry, my eyes are burning. I’m going to sleep.“ He mumbles in a scene which seems unimportant and Chenle is quick to agree with him, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

They all wish them a good night and Jisung nods, looking at Jaemin for a last time.

Jaemin looks away when he notices Jisung looking back at him, opting to talk with Jeno instead.

Jisung’s brows furrow in confusion and his shoulders slump, defeated.

He still doesn’t sleep when they finish watching the movie, everyone returning to their room. He tossed and turned, desperate for sleep to come but no matter what, he couldn’t sleep.

Jaemin entered the room and Jisung was quick to shut his eyes, feigning to be asleep. He could hear Jaemin’s fond giggle and his hand twitched in need of touching him. Jaemin was too adorable.

He could feel the bed dipping, Jaemin obviously sitting beside him and his heart started beating in anticipation.

Jaemin’s fingertips started touching his cheek, touching him softly as if he could break, like a glass. Jisung did his best to stay calm, afraid of Jaemin noticing his heartbeat.

Suddenly he felt another touch to his nose and realised it was Jaemin’s own nose rubbing against his. Jaemin’s palm was now fully against his cheek and Jisung could feel his shallow breathing against his lips.

”Jisung-ah,“ he whispered into the darkness, before he left to his own bed and fell asleep, leaving Jisung feverish.

He clutched his shirt, desperately trying to stop his heart beating so fast.

What in the world did _this_ mean?

 

* * *

 

 

The Dream member decided to eat dinner outside tonight, everyone already ordered what they wanted to eat and waited for it to arrive.

After it finally arrived, they all started eating happily – Mark paying for their food a bonus for the happiness.

Jaemin moaned at the taste of the food, saying it’s almost as good as his own cooking and making everyone laugh, including Jisung.

Jisung drowned in the oversized hoodie he wore today, his sweater paws and full cheeks (thanks to the food) driving Jaemin crazy.

”You look so cute. I want to hug you.“ Jaemin said to him on their way and it made Jisung glad he decided to wear this.

They were almost finished when Jisung started fidgeting, the thought he had was so embarassing. Like always.

He chose to do it anyways, pulling out the metall lid of his coke can and taking Jaemin’s hand.

He puts it on his ring finger, doing the same on himself with Jaemin’s drink.

”Now we’re married,“ he laughs awkwardly, their hands next to each other and the metall lids glowing on their finger through the light.

The others are too busy noticing and Jaemin tilts his head, smirking.

”When was the proposal?“ Jaemin asks, resting his face on his palm and as always, looking at him fondly.

Jisung thinks he’s too nice, again. He could have scolded him, be annoyed – anything. But Jaemin is always patient and nice to him. He couldn’t have wished for another person to fall for. Jaemin was perfect.

Jaemin is perfect.

Jisung almost blurts out that the ”proposal“ was the night where he admitted his crush but gets interrupted when everyone starts gathering their things.

 

* * *

 

 

Weeks pass and they still dance around each other, both oblivious to the others feelings. Jaemin thinks everything is one sided while Jisung is too scared to confess, too scared of what will happen afterwards.

Jaemin isn’t nowhere near with moving on but he guesses it’s normal since Jisung is his first real love.

Everything changes when Jeno and Donghyuck approach Jaemin, giggling like crazy. Jisung is curious as to what they talk about, they whisper shout and show him something on Donghyuck’s phone.

When everyone else gathers around them, Jisung doesn’t resist it one second and joins them.

”There’s this girl we know from school,“ Donghyuck explains, still laughing breathlessly. ”She has the biggest crush on Jaemin, she wrote both Jeno and me about it. That’s how obvious she is.“

Jaemin whines in embarassment, his cheeks a bright red while the others are nudging and shaking him. They tease him and Jisung just stands there awkwardly.

He’s scared when Jaemin opens his mouth to say something so he just grabs his wrist and turns him around.

”Jaemin,“ he says in a firm tone and winces at himself when everyone is staring at him, wide eyed, ”...hyung,“ he adds.

Before Jaemin can answer he drags him towards their room, leaving everyone behind confused. Jaemin turns around to them, shrugging and making a sign that they shouldn’t follow, knowing the younger trusts him with things he can’t tell the others.

Jisung closes the door and awkwardly looks down, shifting on his foot. Jaemin waits patiently, holding his hand as a sign of comfort.

”Ah, I always mess up and make things awkward between us, don’t I?“ Jisung starts, angry at himself.

Jaemin shakes his head, denying but Jisung continues, ”I lied to you. I don’t have a crush. I am in love.“

Jaemin almost lets go of Jisung’s hand in shock and betrayal, he thought the younger was over it but he clearly wasn’t over Jisung himself so he understands. He shouldn’t feel betrayed.

But Jisung doesn’t let him, holds his hand tighter. It’s like he braces himself for the worst when he looks anywhere but at Jaemin and squeezes his eyes shut, ”It’s you, actually.“

It’s like the wind is getting knocked out of Jaemin, leaving him breathless. He doesn’t know how to react, his eyes widened in shock.

”It’s you who I like, hyung. I like you very much. Actually no, I love you.“ Jisung continues, opening his eyes slowly.

He sighs, ”It was obvious, actually. Chenle, Donghyuck hyung and Mark hyung found out about it and talked to me. They were all very nice and supportive. That doesn’t mean that you have to be nice and supportive, of course. I’m sorry if it burdens you, I really tried to stop it. I can’t. I’m always jealous of others when they touch you or thinking about you with someone else. That’s why I was so clingy to you these days.“

Jaemin gulps, letting out a deep breath he was holding, ”You... You never burden me, Jisungie.“

Jisung waits, desperately waits for Jaemin to continue, to say something but it never happens. He lets go of his hand, forcing a smile, ”I’m sorr—“

”Don’t apologize. Falling in love is not a mistake.“ Jaemin interrupts him, holding his hand again, ”I just don’t know what to say because it seems like a dream. A miracle, because I like you, too.“

Jisung’s head snaps up, gaping at his hyung, ”W-What?“

”You heard me, Jisungie. These last days I was so heartbroken and hurt, thinking you were in love with someone else. I’m so happy.“

Jisung’s eyes start to water, ”I’m sorry... I was so scared.“

”I understand, don’t worry. I totally understand.“ Jaemin reassures him, wiping the single tear that’s rolling down his cheek.

They stare at each other, both leaning in for a kiss. It was a long time coming and they lips finally meet.

It’s the first kiss for both of them and they don’t have any experience, so it’s just a soft peck and a lingering touch of their lips brushing against each other.

Still, it means the world for them and they smile against each others mouths in happiness.

”Jisung-ah... I have something to show you,“ Jaemin says after a while, walking to his bed and lifting up his pillow.

Jisung squints to see the small object lying underneath it and then he realises it’s the metall lid he put around his ring finger that day.

”No way,“ he whispers in shock and stares at his... boyfriend?

Jaemin narrows his eyes, glaring at him, ”Don’t tell me you lost yours.“

Jisung bites his plump lips and shakes his head, ”It’s worse. I threw it away because... I thought you would throw it away, too.“

”Jisungie!“ Jaemin whines in exasperation, throwing his head back while Jisung apologizes multiple times. He feels so guilty.

Jaemin looks back at him with a fond smile, ”Then we just have to buy another coke can.“

He links their arms together and is about to open the door when Jisung takes a step back.

”Only if you’re my boyfriend now.“

Jaemin’s deep laughter fills the room,  
”Of course I am.“

 

* * *

 

”Jisungie, stop being a possessive boyfriend.“ Jaemin whispers in the middle of kissing, tilting his head to kiss him deeper.

Jisung bites his bottom lip in response, ”Jaeminie, stop flirting with everyone.“

There’s a knock on the door and they break apart, startled.

”Jisung-ah, Jaemin-ah, stop making out and get out already!” Donghyuck shouts and everyone starts laughing.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> jaesungdaily is a twitter acc i opened for them please check it out!! :)  
> thanks for reading, i hope you liked it! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language~


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